Tuesday, March 30

It's a Quarter after One...

OK....it's not ACTUALLY a quarter after one. Instead, it's THREE. Yes, A.M. And yes, I'm insane. I just got done doing something totally ridiculous and crazy, and therefore not completely out of character. It concerns my housing for this summer. I'll say more later, if anything (or even nothing) comes of it.

So, I feel pretty bad saying what I said about my ex-fiance's new girlfriend. Not bad enough to take it down, because let's face it, who reads this anyway?...but pretty bad. Probably only because I haven't seen him on campus recently, so the anger is getting tamped down pretty well. And because I'm losing weight and looking good and a freshman has a crush on me and I got hit on when I volunteered at the Animal Shelter on Saturday. So feeling good about myself means that I don't need to feel angry toward him. What a revelation. I am SO my own therapist. Now I just wish someone would pay me $200 an hour to tell them what they already know about themselves if they just think hard, like any other therapist.

Which brings me to the next bit...no, not therapy. My awesome Fort Wayne internship, with all the people I love from fall, pays LESS than my minimum wage retail job at Charlotte Russe. That's right, folks!...a college grad and I'm making $6.25 an hour at a full time job. So I have NO hopes of getting an apartment, and therefore no cat, and no real independence, and skrimping and cutting back, and not traveling too much and....ARGH. Oh well, as much as I'm freaking out, the ONLY good news is that it's in God's hands. And that is QUITE good news. So I'll just leave it there. And to the hopefully generous hearts of strangers. Again...time will tell.

Other stuff: I LOVE POTTERY. It's such an expensive hobby outside of Grace, where all the clay, wheels, tools, and glazes are provided at a mere 40 cents per pound of clay fired. I wish I had the money to keep it up after graduation...clearly I will not. I'm getting PRETTY good. But it was tough to watch all these potters on YouTube (I was getting ideas for stuff to try) do these really complicated bits in like 7 minutes, and then go to the lab and NOT rush ridiculously fast like them. Because rushing does not a pot make...just a lump of misshapen, mauled clay. *sigh* I love it so much.

OK, I could go on and on about my mundane life, but it is now 3:15, and I still have 30 pages to read by 8:30 this morning...so five hours...so probably getting about 4 hours of sleep tonight. Awesome. Yep, I'm a real moron sometimes.

...But watching 5 episodes of Heroes was so worth it...shhhh...


  1. oh ash. I feel like you have every right to be pissed off at your stupid ex. You were hurt by the one person who should have protected you from getting hurt..i feel for you girl.

    on another note. I MISS YOUR FACE! you should road trip out here to Maine and then we can run away to Hollywood and be hot actresses/models. cause we rock like that..

    love you!

  2. No, I miss YOUR beautiful face. :) I would even take NYC as a run-away-and-become-famous city!!

    Thanks for the lovin', dear. P.S. She reads this apparently...so we now have to watch what we say. We can hate on HIM all we want, though. lol. But of course, the BIG, mature person that I am won't allow myself to sink to that level...will I??? Haha.